The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.
- Ernest Hemingway - A Farewell to Arms
My walk this morning is dedicated to the joyful memories and the gentle magic my son Caleb brought to my life and that his spirit continues to bring.
I miss him fiercely, but when I look beyond (let go) of this grief, I find myself capable of gratitude for the years we had together and for what his death taught me about living. Grief and pain are like staring at a dark shadow and failing to see the abundant light behind me. Walking through the shadow if death has left me with a new exuberance for life, a talent for living more joyfully, for trusting more and taking risks.
The opportunity - the courage and motivation and all the other things necessary to make this pilgrimage possible (necassary), are in part due, to what I learned going through the experience of our son's death.
On this morning walk I enjoyed the beauty of a fine spring day full of promise.
Life is good...
Remembering Caleb J. Pulver: 02/22/76 - 02/25/02
See: www.pulverpages.com - CALEB Library Project & My Malawi Journals.
See photos of Caleb on my Facebook page
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4 comments:
Ginn, I have two sons - one born in 1975 and the other 1977 (your boy was right in the middle of those two birth dates. I can't even being to imagine what it must be like to lose a son. Mothers should not outlive their children.
Big hug from one mom to another dear friend.
Sil
Sil - Late February each year, I walk through the dark shadow of losing Caleb...I am grateful for the beautiful memories I have of our son and for the lessons I've learned navigating through his death and e-inventing my life...
Thanks for the warm hug.
"Ginn"
Counting Down to the Camino
I am lucky to have one 19 year-old daughter and I can't imagaine life without her. But I have a friend who lost her son who was only slightly older. Her pain and grieving gave me a sense of how terrible it is to lose a child. I have featured your blog on the front page of our website and hope that more people will read it and support you in your journey - both physical and spiritual. www.pilgrimagepublications.com
Pedals and Paws ... the name conjures up a lovely mental picture! Thank you for your kind words...dealing with death and dying gives one the opportunity to experience some intense emotions/feelings. I am shaken out of complacency and passivity...In a way, this experience was a gift...but, of course, I miss sweet Caleb so much...but I reach out more now...I laugh and cry and sing more often these days.
Thanks again for reaching out...
"Ginn"
Counting Down to my Camino
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